Although this book is titled The Seven Spiritual Laws of Making Big Bucks, it could also be called Debbie Does the Department of the Treasury. In fact, it might even sell better if there were some kind of dirty sexual reference in the title because cheap smut is just one of the many ways a real bastard can make a bundle in this sicko world.
But since smut is just one small (but fun!) facet of how to clean up, and I want to provide you with a more well-rounded education in how to wallow in wealth, I’ll save “Debbie” for a future get-rich-quick scheme. Once you understand the fundamentals of wealth-wallowing, your existence on this planet will cease to be the insipid soap opera you currently call your life, and shall become a grand drama of adventure, intrigue, and romance.
Step back and look at your life. If you’re like most people, you work a dull job that you hate, day in and day out, kissing up to obnoxious, power-mad authority figures who look at you and treat you like a bothersome insect, who lord their position over you 8 to 10 hours per day, five days per week, 50 weeks per year. And after each frustrating, humiliating day at work, you go home to your spouse, who despises you for your shameful, insipid lifestyle, berates you, tears you down, and generally makes your home life a living hell.
Your ungrateful, delinquent children steal money from your wallet, never stop screeching and fighting, are ashamed to be seen with you in front of their friends, and make you wish you had sold them to gypsies when they were squalling infants. And you would have sold them to the gypsies had there ever been any gypsies passing through your neighborhood. Unfortunately, the only itinerants you ever see are the local Jehovah’s Witnesses.
The tacky pasteboard box you call your home is a financial prison that eats your paycheck before you’ve even collected it. And the only hope you possess for happiness is the handful of lottery tickets you buy each Friday at the local 7-11 with the few remnants of your meager paycheck that haven’t yet disappeared to angry bill collectors. These thugs with bad teeth and brass knuckles lurk in the shadows of your nightmares, ready to repossess your worthless car and put a lien on your empty bank accounts should you be late one more time on the payment for something you bought years ago which you no longer possess. And you call this dead-end, utterly boring excuse for breathing, your “life.”
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Before defining The Seven Spiritual Laws of Making Big Bucks, let us spell out exactly what we mean by “law.” Law is the process by which something somebody else has becomes your property, the process by which observer becomes the owner, the process by which the dreamer makes life a nightmare for everyone else.
All that exists in creation is but illusion, a creation of the One Mind. No one can own illusion. It just is.
But since the masses of humanity understand nothing of spiritual evolution, they believe all this stuff is real, and they firmly believe in the concepts of possession and ownership. What a bunch of unevolved idiots!
You, however, knowing the true illusory nature of all you perceive, can use the astounding ignorance of the masses to your benefit. The trick is to realize that you can’t actually own anything—it’s all illusion; there is really nothing to own. But if you can make the dolts who populate this planet believe you own something, then for all intents and purposes in this life, it’s yours.
For example, when I give a seminar on spiritual evolution, I charge eight hundred bucks a head. The fact that I say nothing in this seminar that cannot be purchased in one of my many books—which are already overpriced at $9.95—matters not. If I say the seminar costs $800, then that’s what people pay, and believe they ought to pay. Since the whole concept of dollar value is illusory in the first place, and I’m the only one in the convention hall with brains enough to know this, then I get to make the value rules. It’s that simple!
And consider how people give me this $800 for the privilege of sitting in a stuffy Holiday Inn conference room where I flap my jaw for an hour and a half. Do they come with $800 worth of gold or silver, or even apples or toasters or tickets to baseball games, or anything of real value? No. Nothing of real value changes hands. A few may bring small scraps of wrinkled green paper that supposedly represent $800 worth of U.S. currency—but we all know what the national debt is; this paper isn’t worth a handful of dirt in reality.
Most attendees, however, don’t even bring wrinkled paper; they arrive with a little plastic card that gets electronically “scanned”—a process by which a computer at my bank instructs a computer at their bank to transfer $800 in electronic blips from their balance sheet to mine! That’s it!
Is it real?
Of course not. They’ve given me nothing of value, and I’ve taken nothing of value. But the fact is they believe they’ve given me $800, and what’s more, their bank believes they’ve given me $800; and most important of all, my bank believes the same lie! They are all under the illusion that I have collected $800 each from 650 different new age nincompoops, and at the end of the day, my bank balance reads more than half a million bucks higher than when the day began!
Do the math, buster! What an illusion!
This then, is the eternal dance of life. Supposedly real stuff, which is actually illusory, gets divvied up among lost souls who believe it to be real. Once you realize, however, that everything in creation flows within the Field of Pure Greed, you can manifest any amount of this illusory stuff to flow directly into your illusory pockets! While others bump into walls searching for their identities, a purpose to life, a fulfilling job, a meaningful relationship, social stature, political freedom, blah, blah, blah—you slowly clean them all out for everything they’re worth, and never look back.
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Making Big Bucks are actually the whole process of divinity in motion, and when you get that motion moving in your direction, you’re rich!
So, let’s get on with it. Let’s see how you can use the Laws of the Universe to get rich like me.
©1998 Arnold Snyder